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Talst's LiveJournal:
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| Friday, March 14th, 2008 | | 11:45 pm |
Nacy’s Harbour Café http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmWx5GHNR6Q&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bpjn50_ugRU&feature=relatedI’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before. I had thought that heavy metal had died and gone to Rawk heaven about 20 minutes after I stopped listening to it, mainly because it had become shit and boring. But no, them crazy kids have somehow revived it’s nail studded arm guard and madeit their own, and good on them. If I was 16 I would be listening to Alestorm and thinking it was the best fucking thing ever, I’m 35 for fuck’s sake and I’m pretty much there anyway. I spent much of my formative years thinking that music was only good if it told me about WW1 fighter pilots, Red Indians dieing for their homeland or had some other vague fighty / fucky / fanstasy plotline going on. Scottish Pirate metal is born and will be known across the galaxy has the most fun thing ever for millennia. Once, a very very long time ago a mate wanted to make a band that made music much like the tunes that can be found in the Lair of the White Worm – horrible drunken meaningless violet punk folk that would have been sneered at by the Levellers, but embraced by Mr. McShane and his gang. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDcWgbUrAzIOnly more pissed off and drunk – I think it was going to be called Charlie Babage and his Luddite friends – which is a bit long now I look at it again. If only we had thought about it a bit more we would have come up with Alestorm – Pirates! I mean really, why didn’t we get to that? Some news follows ( Read more... ) | | Wednesday, January 30th, 2008 | | 11:44 pm |
Holy LARP Batman So, nothing of interest has happened for a while - hence the quiet patch. But then I saw this, and I know it's cheap to post YouTube - but you HAVE to watch this if you have ever raised a rubber sword in anger:- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGQctnmwEKQ&feature=relatedAnyone hear a call of "pull your blows" in there? Got to love ze crazy germans (or other assorted Euros that I can't understand) | | Sunday, December 16th, 2007 | | 11:42 am |
Competitive bricklaying So I’m sat on the sofa recovering from a couple of very rough bottles of red that I drank in a room full of lesbians last night – the wife is at work and I’m watching TV considering the benefits of sedatives when what comes on? The King Gee Jack of all Trades semi finals! Competitive fucking bricklaying. The current leader just had to choose the first event, he selected form 3 categories – Landscaping, Labouring or Plumbing. Having chosen landscaping he just took the event by building a planter out of bricks in just under 5 minutes. The other fella didn’t stand a chance, spilled mud and everything, fucking amateur. I am glued to this high class event. Some people have told me that Australians, and Queenslanders in particular will turn just about anything into a sport, purely so they can bet on it. I had thought this to be an over exaggeration. I was wrong. ( Read more... ) | | Monday, December 10th, 2007 | | 11:38 am |
Why I get excited So things have been a bit busy. The Mum came over for about a month, the wife finished her Uni thing and went to the UK for 3 weeks. I got to try to look after them both, entertain the Mum solo once wife was back in Blighty, and then enjoy the peace that descended once everyone had gone and I got just over a week alone. In the time since I last wrote anything we have sent he return of Summer here – you’ll have to forgive me a little but to describe how hot it is without the use of graphic and disturbing images is hard – this is the start of Summer, it’s only 30c, as I type this I am mostly naked and sweating in my no aircon house. You see why the use of images wasn’t an option now? With the heat come the seasonal warnings on the TV. It’s hot – watch out for snakes being my favourite, fortunately I don’t live in a part of the town that is likely to have many / any problems with bitey serpents, but the TV adds are still great to see. One thing the heat brings that we do have to deal with is God’s revenge on our promiscuous society, unable or unwilling to cast our civilisation aside in a great flood, an onslaught of burning bushes, or something equally old testament he has turned to a more insidious plague – fucking cockroaches. Evil bastard things, can live through a nuclear winter, survive decapitation for 7 days (only pegging it due to dehydration in the end), it stamped on the female will burst forth a myriad of invisible eggs – coating your home and favourite flip flog in a contamination has no known cure beyond filling your home with a cocktail of carcinogenic gasses and poisons for a week or two. They can get through the smallest of cracks, move like lightening, can fly, and have some sort of immortal zombie ting going on too. Chemical warfare has been declared, the outside of our home was dripping with toxic goo – much to the dismay of our neighbours, but fuck them, they’ll learn how smart we were when they see a 4 inch horror climbing over their toothbrush one morning. We live in a time of war after all, no point using half measures on this most horrific of terrorist threats. Anyway, and I know, boring to all but me – as I was left alone for a bit I got to go underwater. This time I have pictures, so it’s slightly less boring, but still worth hiding under a cut I guess. SHARK! ( Read more... ) | | Tuesday, November 27th, 2007 | | 6:11 pm |
ah well - It will do I spose
 |
Which Discworld Character are you like (with pics)
created with QuizFarm.com |
| You scored as Gytha (Nanny) Ogg You are Nanny Ogg! A talented witch, able to make yourself at home wherever you are, and insist that Greebo is just a big softie. You enjoy drinking, a lot, and singing about a hedgehog. You have a huge family, and get your daughters-in-law to do most of the housework. You are kind and gentle, and help put people at ease.
Gytha (Nanny) Ogg |
| 81% | Carrot Ironfounderson |
| 69% | Rincewind |
| 63% | Death |
| 56% | Cohen The Barbarian |
| 50% | Lord Havelock Vetinari |
| 44% | Commander Samuel Vimes |
| 44% | Esmerelda (Granny) Weatherwax |
| 38% | The Librarian |
| 38% | Greebo |
| 31% |
|
 | | Monday, November 26th, 2007 | | 4:05 pm |
Update from far off places
Mum was here, she's not now. Was good while she was here.
Wife is in UK, will be back in a week or so - things are very quiet and I'm reverting to my normal flithy nature as expected.
Just had Australia election - was all a little bit familiar. Long term conservative corrupt toss pots got booted out and lost embaressing seats that they have held for eternity. Labour are in with smarmy titular head that said "me too" to the conservative policies and then added a bit about using low energy lightbulbs onto the end.
Just so you have the full comparison at your finger tips. If you are an Australian citizen, then you HAVE to vote. It is an obligation for all Australians.
How crazy is that? I mean they don#t enforce it 100% of anything, a random percentage of those that didn't vote get sent a letter and told they will be fined unless they have a good excuse - so you have to provide an excuse, or you get automatically fined, which makes it almost more convenient to vote.
This does not noticabley improve the quality of the decision.
Will not waffle on about diving too much, have three pieces of news.
Have started Dive Master course - this is the 1st professional qualification in diving via PADI (and my only proffesional qualification if I get it) - all very trying really. Have done and passed physical fitness test (so that wasn't very hard then was it), got 9 exams and some more splashing about to do - then I'm let loose on students to hone my support skills for the instructor in the real world. All good fun, but a bit time consuming. It may have been a very smart thing to do due to a potentail work thing, but as that's all a bit up in the air if not totally odd I'll talk more if/when it lands. Does mean I can get paid for guiding dives and assisting instructors etc. and will be all insured to do so and stuff (not that they pay anything much, if anything at all)
Bought my own gear - American dollar is in collapse, makes buying stuff there online as cheap as fuck, even when compairing it to the Australian shell/leaf based currancey. So now I have everything I need to dive anywhere in Australia in the house, all is good and I love my toys.
Test dive was this weekend - took the new gear out for a test dive this weekend, didn't die. Result.
Did spew my guts up though. Not a Result. | | Sunday, November 11th, 2007 | | 2:14 pm |
| | Saturday, November 10th, 2007 | | 10:09 am |
Tales of murder and woe Dear Good a thing to write you. I have a proposal for you-this however is not mandatory nor will I in any manner compel you to honour against your will. I am Silvia James,20 years old and the only daughter of my late parents Mr.and Mrs.James. My father was a highly reputable busnness magnet-(a cocoa merchant)who operated in the capital of Ivory coast during his days. It is sad to say that he passed away mysteriously in France during one of his business trips abroad year 6th.April 2005.Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been masterminded by an uncle of his who travelled with him at that time.But God knows the truth! My mother died when I was just 4 years old,and since then my father took me so special. Before his death on April 6 2005 he called the secretary who accompanied him to the hospital and told him that he has the sum of Ten million,seven hundred thousand United State Dollars.(USD$10.700,000) left in one of the leading Finance company here in Abidjan Ivory coast West Africa. He further told me that he deposited the money in my name,I am just 20 years old and a university undergraduate and really don't know what to do.This is because I have suffered a lot of set backs as a result of incessant political crisis here in Ivory coast.The death of my father actually brought sorrow to my life. Dear,I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards.Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded. Now permit me to ask these few questions:- 1. Can you honestly help me as your Sister? 2. Can I completely trust you? 3. What percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you after the money is in your account? Please,Consider this and get back to me as soon as possible.Through my private email box: Thank you so much. My sincere regards, Silvia James I have bullshit to add to this later in the day - edits are us in an hour or 2 ( Read more... ) | | Sunday, October 7th, 2007 | | 1:15 am |
Thank fuck for that
Rugby just finished, my life is worth living once again.
The prospect of having to endure another round of sledging from the locals when ever they heard my accent was almost too much to bear.
The Ashes almost made me go postal.
But we won, so fuck them.
And they are shit at loosing, so we wont hear a dicky bird about it - unless someone happens to bring it up in conversation, but no one would be so shallow and insensitive to do that would they?
YAAAARRRRR - it's sledge like a pirate month! | | Sunday, September 30th, 2007 | | 5:44 pm |
Full Penetration Have been diving again. And have ticked off three huge dives off the list (not that that means I won’t be going back.) Rather than clog your friends page I’ll be polite and put my ramblings under the blue thing. ( Read more... ) | | Thursday, September 27th, 2007 | | 12:05 am |
Ear update
Turns out it's not just the minsiter for health that's comming to play tomorrow, but the brand new and still with that "fresh out the box" smell the Queensland premier.
Good on her for turning up to fool around with babies and have me photograph her ears. | | Tuesday, September 25th, 2007 | | 9:09 pm |
Things what I done By Talst, age 34 and 1/2 Because I decided to live in a far off land that wont let me work like a proper grown up, I'm reduced to doing what can only be described as "Odd work". In the last 18 months I have. Sold my soul to telesales. Became Mr. Whippy. Dug some holes for sweet sweet cash in hand. Picked up pieces of paper only to put them down in a less interesting places for people who got excited about ink. Worked with captain of Australian swimming team (ex now I think) on an advert. Watched a grown woman repeatedly try to do a back flip in full Irish dancing costume, including wig on another advert. Tried to persuade a boxer known as the "Baked bean" to appear in above advert as character known as "Fucking fat boxer bloke" in script. Filmed women talking about breast feeding, while they switched from liking me and my Britishness to hating anything with a cock between it's legs depending on their week/hormones (6 times over 12 weeks). Flew to far off tropical lands (where they used to have cargo cults, go on wiki it) to make like I knew what I was doing and film a health vid with locals (very cool locals). Organised a conference for 300 nurses (Helloooo nurse!) Maintained databases, even though I know fuck all about them. Became an IT expert by virtue of knowing which button on a mouse was the right one, and what it did. Sent to photograph things (on the basis that I knew how to do it as I used to work in tele a bit) including but not exclusive to:- Babies Babies ears Babies ears being tested by clever people Babies ears being tested by not so clever people Babies (and their ears) in far off places where white Australians fear to tread Children, deaf and otherwise. The Minister for Health (he may or may not have ears, if he does I'm gonna get them, cos that's just how I roll these days apparently) this Thursday. There is probably some other stuff that I’ll remember later on, but as photos and stuff is currently at the fore front of my mind I’ll abuse your attention with a crap load of work photos. Now I warn you in advance, there may be 20+ behind the cut, and although I done shrunk them to a more respectable and viewer friendly size it might be a bit much for some. ( Read more... ) | | Wednesday, September 19th, 2007 | | 11:00 pm |
Strong evidence
Someone decided that they would like to break our long standing efforts to give up smoking.
This mainly occurs when one of us has a drink - in fact it has been known to get some drinks in just so that there is an excuse to have a cigarette too.
Of course, when you smoke you have to have somewhere to put the butts, because it's pretty much a non-smoking house, there are no ash trays - raiding the dishwasher for something small and indestructible means that a little pot thing is used.
One of us tried to use a small bowl but was told not to, and to use the tiny little pot thing that would need to be emptied all the time - who ever made this decision could be to blame for the resulting danger, but it's too hard to remember who that might have been.
Much drinking and smoking took place, in fact someone had to go and buy another packet in order to continue feeding their filthy habit.
The little pot was emptied a few times, one person in the house has the reputation for never tidying anything up, the other hates to have anything messy around him/her and is continually cleaning up little things that are often still in use. Due to alcoholic consumption it is impossible to remember who actually emptied the ashtray / pot thing during the night. But suspicions obviously lay more heavily on one member of the household than the other.
At a fairly late stage in the evenings proceedings a faint smell of burning matches was detected, this was ignored after a very cursory search revealed nothing the comment was made "it's coming from out here" by one of the household who seemed to be glued to his/her chair by this time and made no effort to discover the source of the potential threat to all that we own and hold dear.
The considerably more heroic and generally better looking member of the household, at no time considering the risk to their life or limb soon came to the conclusion that the source of the burning smell was not outside the house, but in fact was from somewhere inside. An amazingly thorough search started, conducted solely by the member of the household that still had full use of their legs and was struck by the urgency of the situation.
The search went through the garage and the top floor discovering nothing, before it could be fully initiated on the ground floor our still seated cheer leader pipped up with "It might be the bin".
The question arises, where did this inspiration come from? In fact was there some sort of fore knowledge that there may have been a threat from this area due to someone emptying a ash tray with a still lit cigarette but that they thought "would be OK"? Only God / history will ever know the answer to this important question.
Heroic/wildly attractive member of the household once again without thinking of his/her personal safety and with cat like reflexes grabbed the smoking bin and dived out side to the tap, quickly extinguishing the threat and saving the house, all the items it contained, and possibly the row of units - if not the entire neighbourhood.
I think it is obvious to anyone but the mentally deranged or those trying to avoid the terrible feelings of guilt that are no doubt racking their soul, that one member of the household acted like a hero and saved the day, and the other sat on their seat for the duration of the emergency that they in fact were responsible for causing..........................
If only we could work out who was who in this tale of danger, foolishness and heroism? | | Tuesday, August 21st, 2007 | | 4:32 pm |
Next week I've got a short trip with work, for a few hours I'll be here:- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palm_Island%2C_QueenslandLife expectancey of 50 years? In a 1st world country? Looks like I'll be in the bits of Oz that aren't like a neighbours set again. I'm there to take a few photos of a particular kid that lives there - one of the very few indigenous kids that has been diagnosed through the health program I work for (not all due to disadvantage, also due to having long term hearing issues at birth being rare). The pay might be a bit shite, but being able to see the bits of Australia that the majority of Australians don't get to see is pretty amazing. It's worth reading the whole wiki entry if you get time. | | Saturday, August 18th, 2007 | | 5:18 pm |
The Eyes Have It You can tell it's the weekend because I get to make god awful puns like the title. Anyway, as mentioned in the last thing we have been away for the night and I got to piss about with a shiny new DSLR that work got for very work based things, and not just for me to fool around with, idiots. Results follow ( Read more... ) | | Wednesday, August 15th, 2007 | | 11:10 pm |
An essay on why here is not like there. Things having been a bit fraught recently with the money and the work and the everything, the bread knife and I decided that we should have a little mid-week break while there was an opportunity. At the moment Brisbane (and lots of Oz) is under all sorts of plague warnings due to the evil flu. It has killed a few kids and old people and even has a Mr. Average Miner Strong Bloke painted on it’s metaphorical fuselage – avoiding crowds is a local pastime, busses are virus filled mass coffins only to be approached with big yellow rubber suits on. ( Read more... ) | | Monday, August 13th, 2007 | | 5:22 pm |
Sub-aqua froth Have been doing some of that facebook stuff, which is good and all, and I’ve found a few mates from years gone by, but it’s mainly good for short form stuff like calling your mates wankers. But when the desire takes me this spot is favourite for longer form, like calling mates big fat wankers. See, makes a world of difference doesn’t it? ( Read more... ) | | Thursday, June 28th, 2007 | | 3:24 pm |
YEEEHAAAA!
Just back from hospital testing thing.
Have been mighty pissed off as it looked like I would be banned from diving due to asthma.
(/crosses fingers)
This has lead to a couple of months of no dives and generally dismal outlook.
Had a test at lung hospital thing here today - they make you breath strange gasses to induce astham, I've been dreading it to be honest - looks as though I don't have asthma after all and that it's either gone over the last few years or I never had it at all.
It's times like this that only a WOOT! will do.
Have booked 3 dive trip for tomorrow - night dive + two regular dives at my favorite local spot, fucking YAY!
Still got to get the offical ok from doc so I suppose it could all stil go tits up, but tester bloke said "you passed" that'll do me. | | Wednesday, June 20th, 2007 | | 11:35 pm |
I did a bad bad thing Ditched the film, this has caused some fall out. ( Read more... ) | | Thursday, June 14th, 2007 | | 9:20 pm |
Muurrrrgh
Am a stress zombie.
Sleep is out of the question.
Laying in bed thinking of the 5 million things that need to be done in no time at all is the only option aparently.
If I ever decide to take on an ultra low budget film again - shoot me. It's a stupid idea.
No realy, it will be for my own good. I wont haunt you or anything. I'll be more Casper than Freddy about the whole thing honest.
Oh yeah.
I almost forgot.
I fucking hate actors.
All of them.
They are cunts.
Message ends................... |
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